Congratulations and Good Luck!

Business school, years of experience, and networking. The top three ways to work your way into management. You chose this life as you graduate from being an individual contributor to staking your place as a decision maker. A strategic mind that is now responsible and accountable for others around you, the team’s performance and even their shortcomings. 

Whether promoted into the role or hired as a first time manager by a different company, the pressures can be overwhelming. Perhaps you’re offered a “Management 101” training from your employer, or they give you a booklet with the 1,000 most popular manager phrases, as if you’re going to flip through it in a pinch when you have to, you know, manage someone. 

Either way, there is no playbook for becoming a new manager. You’re there on your own merit and people expect you to have answers and insights that you didn’t have last week as an individual contributor. There is no grace period or runway to figure it out and you certainly aren’t receiving any on-the-job training. Alas, you’ve been promoted, congratulations and good luck. So, what’s your plan?

I Like Your Style

One of the first uncomfortable feelings you’re going to experience is the inconsistency of your actions and reactions. If you’re expected to have regular meetings or one-to-one’s with your direct reports, you’ll likely find yourself scrambling to facilitate an engaging conversation or provide some value to your subordinates. You’ll feel pressure to make some ground breaking discovery or give a career-changing piece of advice on day one. 

Part of being a manager is managing yourself and your own realistic expectations. You’re not a robot and neither is your direct report. You’re allowed to feel these feelings and pretending that your new experience is not a big change to you and others around you sends the wrong message. 

This transition requires you to find your style. You might hear that from experienced managers and leaders, but I’ll caution you not to adopt their style. Instead, work to become comfortable with your own style. It’s so tempting to watch a leader in your organization and simply model your management style after theirs. The problem is that you are not them and that is painfully obvious to those around you. It’s okay to just be you. 

What is a style anyway? Your style encompasses your approach to management and the values you bring with you to a meeting or conversation. Most aspects of your style will eventually come naturally to you. Some of us try to fight who we are at first, but being comfortable with your style will make others feel comfortable. More accurately, when you’re uncomfortable with your style, it makes others feel uncomfortable, and that’s a quick way to lose trust. 

Vulnerability and Trust

Vulnerability has become one of those buzz words that almost lose their true meaning over time. Similar to how people use the word “literally”, using buzz words incorrectly or too often dilutes the impact of a word’s true meaning. Maybe you can get away with throwing words around to sound seasoned with some greener peers, but those whose respect is worth earning see right through that. What’s more, the aforementioned Management 101 class at your job will use this word in more contexts than you can count. Nonetheless, being vulnerable is a useful approach that could trigger empathy from direct resorts and peers as a new manager, thus helping you form organic relationships. I mentioned grace earlier in this post, and while you’re not always afforded that, a good way to buy grace is by being open about your new experience. Something like, “I am new to managing this team, so it might take me some time to get up to speed. Thanks for understanding” can go a long way. 

Being honest about your feelings and experience will help people understand your expectation of yourself and resets their expectations of you as well. It builds trust and ultimately gives them permission to be a little vulnerable, too. As a manager, an easy way to connect with your directs is by utilizing chit-chat. The smaller, mundane aspects of our lives become valuable filler material and help us learn a bit about one another. Chit-chat requires vulnerability sometimes and people are not going to share something about themselves without some level of trust. 

Confidence and Power

Remember how vulnerability can sometimes lose its true meaning when we use it in too many different ways? Ironically, I want you to rethink how you use the word “power” as a manager, too. Having the authority to make decisions on behalf of your teammates is a privilege and using power correctly is another way to boost trust. 

There are five main sources of power as a leader, but I’ll focus on just two here. Expert power and referent power are my favorite sources of power for new leaders because the components of them drive external expectations and biases of those around them. 

Expert power refers to having expertise in the area in which your team operates. It gives you validity as a leader and shows your teammates that you’re willing to roll your sleeves up and work in the trenches, but more importantly it shows your team that you can empathize with their plight. You know the stress of actually doing the work rather than just managing it from a far. If you feel that the perception of your management style is anything different than this, change it – fast.

Referent power is the ability to connect with those you manage. Chi-chat, vulnerability, being approachable and empathetic are ways to display this. Can your teammates relate to you and your interests? Does it feel natural to jump into a conversation your teammates are having about sports or pop-culture? Gauge the reaction when you invite your teammates to go to lunch or grab a morning coffee. 

Displaying these sources of power will build confidence from your teammates and will ultimately give you the confidence needed to lead them. Notice I have used the inclusive word teammates when describing the folks that you lead. Sure they are on your team, but calling them your team can feel icky, and as a new manager, the last thing you want is to come across as icky. People want to be treated as valued members of a team, not cogs on a wheel who are simply on your team. Practice using that language when addressing them or anyone else outside of your direct reports. Tiny subtleties like this, when put into consistent practice, have a gigantic impact. Remember, being a new manager doesn’t make you a leader, you need to earn that.

This post is just scratching the surface of the experiences and lessons of a new manager. And if you’re still reading, chances are you’re serious about succeeding as a new manager. Let’s connect and I’ll help you acquire the tools and skills you need to be the leader that you want to be. Check out my services and content at odpcoaching.com or find my pricing and perks at odpcoaching.com/services.